Make a ‘reverse bucket list’ of things you won’t do

The opinions stated in this article are solely those of the author and not of The Davis Clipper.

medical journal study reports that 91 percent of Americans have a “bucket list” of things they would like to do and places they would like to see before they pass this mortal coil.  The list is especially intriguing for men and women who regularly attend church, and the most common desire is to do more traveling.

New York Times columnist Clyde Haberman writes that a friend approaches the idea quite differently. Rather than pursing wishes which may prove difficult and costly, his friend is more grounded with a “reverse bucket list”: things he doesn’t want to do no matter how long he lives.

Obviously, a “reverse bucket list” has better odds of coming to fruition (and certainly better odds than any one of us will actually live forever since time will certainly run out and we succeed by default). To complete a reverse bucket list, all we have to do is remember Nancy Reagan’s admonition – Just say no!

I’m already preparing my reverse bucket list. In the time I have left, I willfully plan on avoiding the following:

Eating Brussel sprouts and any pizza topped with pineapple and/or anchovies.

Reading boring novels like Moby Dick and anything written by James Patterson, Danielle Steele, or Nicholas Sparks.

Interviewing or shaking hands with Putin, Donald Trump, Roseanne Barr, Kathy Griffin, Kanye West, or any rap music artist.

Paying $60 for a Nordstrom tie (produced in Sri Lanka for 34 cents).

Visiting Mississippi in the summertime, North Dakota in the winter, Russia, or Somalia.  

Donating money to the federal government to pay off our Congress-inspired federal debt or to finance the Trump military parade whim.

Rooting for the Dallas Cowboys or the Los Angeles Lakers.

Putting a down payment on a new Tesla and waiting 18 years for it to be manufactured and delivered.

Attending a concert featuring Bob Dylan singing Christmas carols.

Caring whether or not Dennis Rodman visits North Korea.

Serving on the board of the Utah Transit Authority.

Purchasing Utah Jazz logo gear with their recently introduced “red-rock orange” color scheme.

You can comprise your own “reverse bucket list.” For some, it might even be not reading this column.

As for me, I figure that immortality is a long shot and, if life is an adventure, maybe kicking the bucket should be one too.  I’m reminded by Ellen DeGeneres commenting on your elderly grandmother.

“She started walking five miles a day when she was 60,” said DeGeneres. “She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the heck she is!”


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