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Ask a Therapist: We determine light or darkness
by John Waterbury
Nov 02, 2010 | 1704 views | 0 0 comments | 20 20 recommendations | email to a friend | print
By John Waterbury, LPC
By John Waterbury, LPC
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One of the most important questions we can ask ourselves is: “What do I want most from life?”

Surprisingly, the answers are often vague or confusing. We say we want happiness, but we often settle for selfishness. We say we want joy, but we end up with doubt and confusion. We say we want success, but we settle for anger and frustration. We say we want serenity, but we become enmeshed with envy. We say we want insight, but we become overwhelmed with fear. We say we want enlightenment, but we settle for pessimism and cynicism. We say we want confidence, but we settle for worry and mere survival. We say we want balance, but we settle for chaos. We say we want to live life by design, but we settle for the familiarity of disorder. We say we want light, but we hold on to a significant measure of darkness.

Maybe part of the reason for this confusing pattern has to do with the issue of how certain we are of who we are and what we believe. Certainty is a candle that generates light and helps to motivate us to reach for higher levels. Uncertainty is a negative force that robs us of that light and encourages us to settle for less. Certainty is a light that dispels the darkness. Uncertainty diminishes the light and promotes the darkness.

And while we are the ones who determine the amount of light or darkness we tolerate in life, there seems to be a tendency for us to hold on to that measure of darkness with which we may have become comfortable.

The problem with this is that we can only share what we have. And if we decide to allow the darkness to increase, the accumulated darkness will tend to manifest itself throughout all areas in life.
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