The opinions stated in this article are solely those of the author and not of The Davis Clipper.
After God created Adam and Eve, he plunked them down in the middle of a garden and told them to start naming dinosaurs.
Adam dove headfirst into the task and went to work giving names to the millions of creatures walking around his backyard. They lived in ignorance and innocence, walking around naked and coming up with funny names like “chicken turtle” and “spiny lumpsucker.”
After a time, Eve thought there had to be more to life than mind-numbing sameness every. single. day.
She’d walk to the forbidden Tree of Knowledge and stare into its branches, wondering how bad knowledge could be. Then along came a snake and blah, blah, blah—knowledge entered the Garden of Eden.
Adam came home from work that afternoon to find Eve wearing strategically placed fig leaves. Before he could comment, Eve enthusiastically told him all the amazing things she had learned. Knowledge was awesome!!
Adam was furious. He didn’t need no smart woman telling him what to do. He turned to reprimand Eve, but she was writing books, doing math and creating crafts to put on her Pinterest board.
Not to be upstaged by a lowly rib-woman, Adam stormed off through the jungle, getting his nether-regions caught on brambles, until he came to the Tree of Knowledge. And the rest is history.
Or is it?
Fast forward to 2017 and male/female relationships haven’t improved much. It wasn’t until the last 100 years that women decided things had to change. They ate from their own trees of knowledge and became proactive in voicing opinions.
What was the overall reaction from men? “These women are crazy. To the institutions!” “Why can’t women just be happy?” “Don’t they know they have inferior minds?” “Where’s my dinner?!?!”
Nevertheless, we persisted.
Our mothers and grandmothers and great-grandmothers fought against the stereotypical bra burning, hairy armpitted, unsmiling, Birkenstock-wearing feminists. They tussled with men who found them shrill, incompetent and wholly ungrateful; men who were possibly afraid of what a smart woman could do.
We’ve quietly listened to blonde jokes, put up with mansplaining bosses and held our tongues for hundreds of sexist and/or patronizing comments.
But maybe we can find common ground.
I’m sure many young men feel the pressure to become muscular like Thor, brave like G.I. Joe and wealthy like that Monopoly guy. I’m sure many men battle with confidence issues, body image and are always trying to look smarter than the women in the room. So, see! Common ground.
Feminism is the promotion of women’s rights based on equality, meaning anyone who believes women are (at least) equal to men is a feminist. And, come on, really? We’re at least equal to men.
Here’s my vision for the next 100 years (assuming we survive the next four).
• Women take an equal role in leadership, possibly creating an effective education system. Because knowledge.
• Men embrace a woman’s ability to communicate with emotion and passion as a strength, not a weakness.
• Girls around the world are educated, respected and live in peace.
• Someone creates a gluten-free cinnamon roll recipe that doesn’t taste like cinnamon-flavored concrete.
(Okay, that last one has nothing to do with equal rights. But still. Get on that, Pillsbury.)
Smart women shouldn’t be scary to men. We still do the majority of child-rearing and you don’t want a stupid person raising the next generation. Maybe, like Adam and Eve, we can work together to create a new world.
Maybe in 200 years, this could be a headline: “Is America Prepared for a Male President?”