Sharon May
May 13, 2010 | 0 
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I was transferring new spring plantings from the nursery to my yard when it hit me. A weed is the most sarcastic life form ever created.
Everything else in my yard can be dying, but a weed will sho...
Apr 22, 2010 | 0 | 6 |
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Our humble hunter-gatherer predecessors resorted to marking the sun’s progression on their stone walls in order to predict the arrival of spring.
Today, all we have to do is note when swimwear and...
Apr 08, 2010 | 0 | 5 |
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Have you noticed that on the mornings when you're running late, Fate decides to be a grouch?
It happened again recently when I was charging to work with no time to spare. Already, I had turned into...
Mar 18, 2010 | 0 | 8 |
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Kids, there’s a good reason why Fire Marshall Bill says don’t play with matches. He wants to have all the fun. No, seriously, a gallon of gasoline, a tower of paper, a chimney and a box of matches ...
Feb 25, 2010 | 0 | 6 |
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When I want to practice humility, all I have to do is use a doohickey in public.
It’s a well-known and well-observed fact that my mechanical aptitude obviously drowned in the family gene pool some...
Feb 11, 2010 | 0 | 8 |
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There’s a good reason why front doors have locks. They keep people from walking in and catching us doing idiotic things. Like weighing your head. It all started during a phone conversation with a ...
Jan 21, 2010 | 0 | 8 |
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I admit it. Just three weeks into my resolution to forego all junk food for all eternity, it seems the only “resolve” I have left is the carpet cleaner on my shelf – and even that’s almost empty.
W...
Jan 14, 2010 | 0 | 9 |
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Did you notice the enticing holiday deals on new automobiles? I was tempted to trade in my six-year-old Jeep except for one thing: These new cars are way too smart, and it makes me nervous. Last w...
Dec 22, 2009 | 0 | 7 |
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Every December since 1975, I’ve promised myself, “I will NOT overspend on Christmas gifts.” And every year I do, of course. It just kind of sneaks up on me, and before I know it, my checking acco...
Dec 10, 2009 | 0 | 8 |
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I’m glad I live where there are four actual seasons, where leaves change colors and an occasional snow storm blusters. I never appreciated Southern California’s 80-degree Christmases. But still, wh...
Nov 26, 2009 | 0 | 8 |
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Holidays and long weekends off work give a person time to notice things that usually go ignored.
Like the grunge at the bottom of the toothbrush and toothpaste cup holder. I don’t think I’ve clean...
Nov 12, 2009 | 0 | 8 |
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Don’t get me wrong, I love babies and toddlers as much as the next person – providing the person is a constipated curmudgeon who hasn’t smiled at anyone under 30 since 1946.
And I think it’s wonde...
Nov 05, 2009 | 0 | 7 |
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I hope meaningful healthcare reform is passed soon because a letter from my health insurer informed me I have a “pre-existing medical condition.” Frankly, I think it’s my insurance carrier’s pre-ex...
Oct 29, 2009 | 0 | 5 |
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My bathroom has become the exit point for a major “canyoneering” route, and it’s just creepy. That’s because the hikers trekking from my drains with tiny water sandals and ropes are cockroaches.
E...
Oct 15, 2009 | 0 | 6 |
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While my sister is from a cool planet like Venus, I’m from the planet Uranus. It’s amazing how two sisters from the same parents can have such different brains.
Having two distinct skulls isn’t ama...
Sep 17, 2009 | 0 | 7 |
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Sometimes it takes a pneumatic drill to drive home a point.
That’s what happened on my way to work the other day. I was stopped at a corner where road construction was in process and all of a sud...
Aug 27, 2009 | 0 | 7 |
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Nature is cruel. Consider age spots and Brussels sprouts as proof.
Sure, nature tries to compensate for her brutality with fun marvels like the Grand Canyon and flatulence. But move a few links do...
Aug 20, 2009 | 0 | 6 |
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My favorite day of the year is approaching. That’s why my nightmares have started.
Let me explain. You see, I love starting a new school year. Yeah, I have the usual teacher nightmares about arri...
Aug 06, 2009 | 0 | 5 |
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Summer makes me realize why I have precisely one pair of brown work shoes and one black pair. If given a spare $20, I head to the nursery, not Payless Shoes. I’m so fashion-ignorant I thought Manol...
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