I had so wanted to write something sweet for this lovely time of the year, but I just don’t have it in me. In fact, to tell the truth, sometimes even though I’m pretending to be happy, “I don’t think I even like the holidays”. Although next week I may say I was misquoted! After all, Isn’t Christmas “The most wonderful time of the year”? Bah Humbug!

Some Slices of Life are not so sweet! I have no one to blame, except myself, and maybe “CHRISTMAS” high pitch advertising, with all those great expectations and wonderful stories of happiness and peace on earth. They obviously haven’t tried to find a parking place at the store, when you just need a wedding gift! Why would anyone get married at this time of the year? Do they know they will never be able to afford an anniversary trip? I think the Christmas season now days is more like a roller coaster ride with the Cat in the Hat to the Funny Farm by way of the Polar Express. The long check out lines and all those traps to make you spend more money. I only went in for milk, why did I spend $20.00? OK! Get a grip! I can stay out of the stores! I can stay out of the stores? Right! Moving on to the next issue.

Christmas Decor! As I finish up over doing, over lighting and over decorating my house, doorway, table and Christmas tree, I realize I have not full filled my resolution of last year, to keep Christmas simple and just enjoy it. I did restrain myself from putting the cute little fur toilet cover on the toilet lid on this year. I like decorating. It keeps me out of the stores. This year tree limbs are in style.

I enjoy putting out previous year’s decorations. It’s like seeing and old friend and having them stay for a couple of weeks and then leave you with a big mess to clean up.

About those old decorations, a counselor would tell me to get rid of all those old Christmas ornaments, or anything that reminds you of your old life, your old marriage. OK then! This year I will get rid of a few old ornaments or I’ll hang them on the back side of the tree to counter balance all the good memories that hang on the front. I like some of those wonderful old memories. Those old days when life was simple raising six kids that all came down with chicken pox one Christmas Eve. Another exciting day, I remember this every ornaments as the one the crawling baby grabbed so hard that he pulled the entire tree on top of him. Another ornament reminds me that a simple jingle bell on a wire is a priceless gift from a four year old, or the simple ornament that reminds me of the year without a home, when everything we got was from the thrift store. Those were the days! Funny how sweet they seem now!

I’m in the part of life I always thought I would love, and mostly I do. I have no serious complaints…..today! Knock on wood! We are retired, with enough money to live and eat simply and take a trip now and then. We have pretty good health and great friends. Our children are grown and they don’t live with us. Most of our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren (We have together 13 children, all with mates and 45 grand and great grandchildren) live close enough to see frequently, but not close enough to drop by unannounced for dinner every Sunday. Why am I feeling so down in the dumps? Missing the old days of Christmas?

How can I possibly miss the cheese whiz on the lower part of the doors, or the bundling up of little ones to run homemade popcorn balls to the neighbors or the frantic shopping at crowded stores to find the right toy, well actually, I don’t miss that! But, Its funny how we always appreciate the past after it’s gone. It’s like a “family vacation”. It’s often better after it’s over and you see the photos. I’m I always going to feel a little loss for what used to be? Yes, I guess so! I will always miss seeing excited children’s first look at the presents under the tree on Christmas morning. I will miss my own parent’s Christmas morning bunch gatherings, when everyone fit in their house, and I was the child, with no responsibilities. I have learned many things! I have learned I must write these things down, so I can remember them when I’m older.

I have learned enough from life, that I know, in order to be happy, I must live in the “present”, not the past, but I like to look back once in a while and be the keeper of all memories.

You risk a lot when you write an article like this…something of truth from your heart, but not necessarily from the brain. I’m relying on the old quote that says “If you have to tell the truth, you better make them laugh!”

My wish for next year is to not have a pre-Christmas battle with my “X” again, to maybe write a news article I get paid for, and to simplify and enjoy Christmas more. Isn’t that what everyone wants?