A Farmington church official told his flock that the average American will break his or her New Year's resolution within 14 days. So much for that Gold's Gym membership and the attempt to gnaw on carrots. The most popular New Year's resolutions deal with weight loss and fitness. Our mailboxes, magazines, and newspapers are full of advertisements for gyms, elliptical trainers, and diet plans. January is the only month of the year when Jenny Craig has more appeal than a Lexus. Yet despite the sincere and passionate urge for us to get fit, the New Year's resolve will wilt as fast as the Hillary Clinton campaign. Food is not the main culprit. Neither is lack of will power. The Cyclops Encyclopedia notes the real villain is the drive-up window.

Even my Smith's pharmacy has a drive-up window. If evolution is true, humans will soon be born without legs.

The politically conservative columnist George Will wrote last week that we are now in the "Snack-Wrap" era. Wrote Will, "McDonald's started selling chicken and other stuff wrapped in tortillasÖ.as a response to consumer appetites for something to eat between meals with one hand on the steering wheel. More and more Americans do not want to get out of their carsÖMost McDonald's sell most of their food through the drive-up window."

Note Will's comments that the drive-up window is a lure for additional food "between meals." In the Snack-Wrap era, we can't stop ourselves from munching, especially when we don't need to expend energy by using our kneecaps and walking to a food counter.

It's simple mathematics: more food occasions plus less physical exertion equals "to heck with my New Year's resolution!"

Future historians will probably observe how drive-up windows impacted transportation. It's quite common to see automobiles without ash trays--but will front-seat buffet tables replace the ash tray?

This month some eager Utah legislator will again propose a ban on cell phone use while driving. I'm not so sure using a cell phone is any more distracting than gobbling down a breakfast burrito at 60 miles per hour.

If you want to lose weight and become more fit, make this your New Year's resolution: "I will not order food from any site that does not require walking at least 20 feet." You'll also get reacquainted with the biological concept that certain mammals can walk upright.



The views expressed in this column are the opinion of the writer and not necessarily those of the ownership or management of this newspaper.