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The Marriage Wars: Bah, humbug, Christmas music
Dec 20, 2013 | 2519 views | 0 0 comments | 42 42 recommendations | email to a friend | print


There are some things in life that are good, even (maybe especially) when they are bad. Christmas music is one of those things.  First off, I start playing Christmas cds as soon as the jack-o-lantern hits the trash and the leftover Halloween candy is still edible. I figure “holly jolly” is a good way to feel as long as possible.

As a purveyor of Christmas music, it seems like every time I turn around, someone is releasing a new album of holiday tunes.  I didn’t even know the dudes from Duck Dynasty could sing! With the wealth of material, there are bound to be some lumps of coal, but as was mentioned, even the bad renditions can bring holiday joy.

I challenge anyone to listen to Neil Diamond’s version of Little Drummer Boy and not giggle.  His “rum-pah-pahing” has reduced me to tears of glee on more than one occasion. 

 For true holiday cheer, treat yourself to a copy of “Bob Dylan Christmas In the Heart.”  You have never heard carols done in quite the same way and for those naysayers out there (my husband at the top of this list) who criticize the unique vocal styling of Dylan on beloved Christmas classics I say stop taking things so seriously.

With so many versions of familiar tunes out there, Christmas music never gets old. When you can hear the same song sung by Josh Groban andthe Chipmunks, it is like the greatest episode of American Idol and The Voice combined.

Michael McLean penned a song “I Cry the Day I Take the Tree Down.”  I don’t wax sentimental about a plastic evergreen, but my eyes do grow misty the day that I put the holiday cds away. Thank goodness, in only 10months I can start playing them again. 


Utah is comprised of two distinct types of people.  No, I’m not referring to Mormons and non-Mormons or those who love or despise cats.

I’m talking about those who love Christmas music and those who Р like me Р shiver in disgust every single moment they are tortured by Gene Autry’s “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”     It was bad enough when one Salt Lake radio station began promoting endless days of non-stop Christmas tunes. Now another station has joined in, and, if Christmas creep continues, we’ll soon be hearing the “Little Drummer Boy” beginning in July.

I enjoy songs of the season.  (Mary Chapin Carpenter’s holiday album is a great example of wintry soul.) 

There are few things more beautiful than hearing a chorus of people (even bad singers) joining in on “Silent Night.”  I even find myself occasionally humming or whispering about chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

But I don’t appreciate the syrupy, jingley-jangley happy-peppy songs that force me into thinking about Santa and snow.  Sorry, Burl Ives, but I don’t want to have a “holly jolly Christmas.” (I’d rather appreciate the mystery of the season.)I don’t’ enjoy hearing sleigh bells jingling” any more than I want to “rock around the Christmas tree in a new old-fashioned way.”  

Sorry John Denver, but I can’t feel your pain imploring “Please Daddy, don’t get drunk this Christmas.” And listen, Bing Crosby, your droll deep muttering on “White Christmas” is identical to a drunken uncle moments before he passes out in the armchair.

“Silver bells, silver bells/ It’s Christmas time and I’m in misery”...You get my drift.  Any time Bob Dylan records a Christmas album or we are forced to endure another playing of “Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer”, it is time to stop the insanity. 


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